When the Circus Came to Town

 

Yes, your wicked little cellphone or iPad or Kindle is going to cause your 757 to flip upside down, burst into flame and cartwheel out of control.

Not.

It’s more than a smidge difficult to comprehend how the pilots’ iPads aren’t going to cause some sort of interference with the aircraft’s navigational aids, but mine will.

Huh?

Or maybe the FAA is concerned that somebody will create an app that can take over the plane’s controls? (Wow, now that would be quite an app!)

Alright, I’m willing to give the government everything it wants, especially when it comes to our safety.

Right?

Obviously the task forces have done their work and the evidence is clear, and we all need to stop whining and moaning and just turn off everything and shove ’em in the seat pocket. I mean, after all, this IS the same government that took such great care of us when it created the oh-so-helpful color-coded, turd-whirlin’ Homeland Security Advisory System.

Sigh.

How I miss the good old days, not knowing what I was supposed to do when the nation was at the Blue/Guarded level, but how much more secure I felt when I had absolutely no friggin’ idea what to do when we were at the Orange/High level. I don’t recall ever being at Red/Severe, but I’m certain I would’ve been simply apoplectic as shivers of secure tranquility raced up and down my spine while I was eye-balling everybody around, ready to sound the alarm!

So relax and sit back, folks. The adults are still in control.

Just like the good old days.