Today we consider, once again, the wholesomeness of the National Rifle Association. I’ll leave it to your own reading schedule to peruse the article, but I’ll simply add a suggestion: I propose that Middle and High schools throughout our country initiate Gun Shop classes, just like we (folks my age) had Wood Shop, Metal Shop, Car Shop and a veritable cornucopia of Shops.
Seriously, kids could learn all about guns of all sorts, and just imagine the take-home projects and field trips! Firing ranges could be set up in school hallways. (Hey, I know what you’re thinking, but really, when classes are in session, the hallways are supposed to be empty, right? Well, that’s a lot of empty, unused space that’s being wasted. Why not put it to good use?) And for the sake of all the bleeding hearts out there, silencers could be required so other classes aren’t disturbed. (As if bullets whizzing down a school hallway would disturb anyone?)
Later — after this program becomes the roaring success we all know it will become — it can filter down to the lower grades. Again, for the squeamish, non-patriots out there, BB and pellet guns can be substituted to accommodate the smaller hands of elementary schoolchildren. (I suppose we’ll have to draw the line at the first grade, and exclude Kindergartners from the curriculum. After all, who wants five year-olds playing with guns?)
Oh, and I want to create a new line of posters aimed at … targeted at … intended for certain folks out there, like our fellow citizens in Utah who’ve started offering free classes in gunsmanship to school teachers.
My first poster will be:
What Would Jesus Pack?
This is gonna’ be big, folks. Real big.
