GOP Committee Chairs

 

This morning’s quiz:

What’s white, conservative, middle-aged, (or older), and has a dongle?

Go ahead, I can wait while you ponder.

Hum-tee-hum-tee-hum.

Give up?

The answer, of course, is simple. After the nation just handed the GOP a note saying, “Change your party you bunch of stupid *&#^!”, the House leadership (that would be John Boehner) demonstrated they got the message by selecting 19 white, conservative, mostly middle-aged (or older) men to head the most important committees in Congress. (That’s 19 out of 21 committees.)

Now you might be thinking to yourself, “No women? Hispanics? Blacks? Did they NOT get the memo? WTF?”

Apparently the memo John Boehner received said, “Dig in, deeper!” Or maybe, “Don’t worry, it’s okay to ignore that growing majority of population that isn’t filled with old, white men!”

Apparently.

Light At The End Of The Tunnel

But WAIT!!! Late breaking news! After receiving a number of complaints, the ever-forward-looking Boehner, in a wise and magnanimous gesture, DID appoint a woman to a very important committee chair: A Republican woman will now head the House Administration Committee!

What’s that, you ask?

Why, THAT’S the committee that runs the House cafeteria. Oh my goodyness! Think of all those momentous decisions that must be made:

Soup or salad at the beginning of the cafeteria line? Sea salt or Morton’s on the tables? Styrofoam or paper plates? REAL plates? Oh, great. Now I gotta’ decide which dishwasher detergent to use.

Just so you know, the woman in question has been sitting on the Homeland Security committee for the past couple of years, and she was hoping to get that particular chair, but instead, the Republican House leader appointed her — in a last minute gesture, to run the housekeeping committee — and no, she’s never had anything to do with that committee.

Yes, that’s right. She gets to chair the House housekeeping committee. (Truly, one cannot make this stuff up.)

One thing is certain, and you can take this to the bank: Conservative, Republican, aging, wealthy, white men are as consistent as the setting sun.

Okay, break’s over. All you women reading this get back to the kitchen.

The men are getting hungry.